Joyce myers tells women to stop looking for praise from others and be confident in God
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Joyce myers tells women to stop looking for praise from others and be confident in God
Joyce Meyers conference 2012 Love Life
It has been a few weeks since my return and a busy few weeks trying to resume to my regular life. Honestly, the first coupe of weeks were very difficult for me. I found it really hard to just come home and talk to everyone about my experience. Of course, as I had expected, I had a lot of people email me and call me to hear all about my trip. I found the best way for me to process my month in Kenya and try to get on with my plans for the summer was to isolate myself from people and just surround myself with my family. I even had a hard time reading follow up emails from my home stay family because I just needed time to try and forget for a bit. I managed a small trip to south beach which was much needed but was also a really huge shock to go from a place where people literally suffer day to day to a place where people suffer because of hang overs from all night of partying.
I promised myself that I would not be the person to walk around and profess the poverty of Africa to everyone trying to enjoy their lives here. It is not my place to reduce peoples standards to that of the village in Kenya. I think this is where I have been having the hardest time. Trying to figure out what I am suppose to do with my trip, my memories, my knowledge and my feelings. I had to decide if after a few weeks I still felt anything at all or if I could just appreciate it for what it was and move on. The last thought I keep coming back to in my head each night is “Dorothy you were not on a trip, you know exactly what life is like there and you know exactly how you can help that village and those children”
I have been asked this so many times – would yo go back? I hate the question because it is loaded with so much moral struggle for me then a simple yes and no. I would love to be able to say N0 and quite frankly, I have no obligations to have to say YES. The reality is as each day passes and I move further away emotionally and get on with my plans here, I somehow have this underlying knowing within me that it’s not about going back, it’s about doing what I am meant to do, to bridge a gap in whatever way I can with my experience there and my life here.
I feel that as I get ready to head to California to make some headway in my midwifery degree and look at finding clinical placement, it’s also the perfect time for me to spend time in my favorite place (the good place on earth for me). This is where I can finish putting the pieces together in my life and work on that Goal that I wrote in my first blog on GPS your life. In that original blog I wrote how Cali is where I decided to take a definite direction in achieving my goals, and here I am going to Cali right after Africa. Not ever knowing beforehand how much of an impact Africa would have had on my life.
So? Where is all this going? I can tell you the answer is clear. I beleive in my work, my ability to tolerate harsh environments (do I like not having hot water and electricity GOD no but I love how it feels to change a life) I believe in my honest and true ability to bring joy to a place where survival is dark and grim. With that I have decided to proceed with my Non Governement Organization – Rebirth the World – Bettering Lives One Village at a Time. I will be blogging to you about my 179 orphans that need your help! You will be able to read about these children, read about what is happening over in the village as I liason with my host family and work to create sponsorship to each of the children. I am dedicated to bringing you the hard core facts of life as a child, life as a woman, and how a new life barely makes it past delivery to you as often as I can.
Here is how you can help me Rebirth the World, One village at a time and of course Matunda being our first village: I will be looking to provide school funding and food sponsorship at $25 a month for each child and would love to hear from you if you are interested in supporting a child. With your $25 monthly donation a child will receive two meals a day as opposed to the half a cup of beans he or she currently receives, a supply of much needed malaria tablets (that I promise does save their lives) and funding for the teachers that currently do not receive pay due to lack of resources. They teach in exchange for a meal and a cup of tea. They are the only lifeline to education these children have. I personally will ensure the funds are delivered, food is purchased and teachers are paid. The reason you can do all this for $25 as opposed to the $60-$80 other major charities ask for monthly is because I am a direct ground link and do not have the overhead costs that other organizations have. Most large government charities use 90% of your funds to fulfill organization costs and 10% of your funds to actually help children.
Please consider sponsoring a child and I will ensure you receive photos and updates on your child. Going forward you will also be able to help this child any which way you feel best, donating clothes, toys funding their home needs and higher education. Please contact me if you are interested and I can provide more details as I work to set up this Non Government Organization for info about sponsorship email me at email@example.com a full prospectus will be put together for September, currently I am building my list of monthly donors. Please make a commitment to sponsor a child, more so be part of this unique ground operating grassroots work that you can put a face to.
I will also be sending more birth kits to the village. I personally saw how these kits made a difference. It was extremely heartbreaking to see the conditions women gave birth in and I am 100% committed to ensuring women in Matunda village receive the care they need.
Why not volunteer in Africa? Have you ever thought about offering your help in Africa? I will be putting together an opportunity to do a home stay for 3 weeks in Matunda Kenya in winter 2014. You will be able to meet the kids at Giovanna, help provide meals, teach english, do yoga, help the village and do home visits in the village to learn about the ways of these people and how they survive. Costs will be discussed in detail and include transfer from Nairobi to Matunda, accommodations and meals. If you are interested please contact me. I am able to take 3 people per trip. This is a wonderful opportunity to make a difference, liaison between sponsors and the children, build relationships and awaken your own life.
Looking forward to hearing from you and blogging on with life!
“Pole pole” is a term used all day long in Africa. It’s is the same as the Caribbean term don’t worry be happy, or not today maybe tomorrow. In Africa it means slowly, slowly don’t rush. If you had 1 minute to make an important meeting and were running you would be told pole pole by everyone around you. There is nothing that requires rushing or worrying about.
I believe that pole pole only matters in countries where there is never really anything to rush to, no jobs, no stores, no place to show up to. Pole pole in America would 1. Get you fired 2. Have people stop inviting you places 3. Clients not come to your business and 4. Become what we call a “lazy loser”
In Africa I can be pole pole because my responsibilities are all million miles away. Again Africa is for me an emotional divide between what I know life can be like at home such as work work work, appointments, kids events, things that have to get done. And yet we all wish to pole pole all the time. At home we all wish for vacations, get always, holidays, peace, solitude, and other things that take us away from hustle bustle. In Africa many will take whatever comes their way just to survive and work hard while doing it and thank God for a chance to make 50 cents that day. Pole pole is their coping strategy to accept the lack of hustle bustle when opportunities don’t exsist. So they can tell the white man pole pole while in Africa but in America we would say to them go hurry and get a job, what are you waiting for don’t be lazy, go do something!
The bottom line is they don’t have any options. Pole pole is their only way. By the time your done grade 8 here, if you were lucky to have made it that far you have two options help the home with farming and chickens and cows or take a loan for highschool. Most kids don’t go past grade 8 actually more than most of those kids have never even gone to school. Reality is that the percentage that don’t go to school here, lets say 80 percent, is probably the percentage that don’t pay attention in class in America. So pole pole is all they know, to live slowly and patiently and survive with a prayer each morning.
An education here is called luck. It’s so sad. So many mid teens and young adults I have spoken to when I ask do you work, I will hear no I didn’t finish school so it’s not easy for a job. I had no luck to have money for a chance to have an education.
a young boy stalked me in mikandani town where i was staying the last two days with pinnys aunt. today he waited outside the home to give me a picture of an ostrich, he had no job and never finished school. It broke my heart because I was not able to take the picture. The pleading in his eyes for me to take it was deviating. After a month I have learned nothing is free and given in kindness to a white person in Africa. Taking that picture meant giving him money and the many in the village that would soon here the white lady is giving money for pictures. I have regretfully learned which battles I had to support here. And believe me my heart wants to give money for that picture and the socks people sell on the streets and the old cell batteries and other crappy garbage people sell. to us foreigners, this is ridiculous useless junk but to them its survival goods to sell for money. The other night coming home from lamu it was 3am and a man was outside selling glass bowls (the kind my parents had on their coffee tables, ugly junk back then and worse in Africa) but he will sit at his table 24 hours in hopes one gets sold. I thought omg our homeless people in america would never sell garbage for money. That’s to much work. Here most stores are just tree stalls where people sell whatever they find to make a shilling. At home i have been supporting an organization called Kiva.org where I make $25 loans to people in Africa or India to build businesses and it’s been such a reality check to actually see these crazy businesses here that can be opened with the $25 loans. On a side note, with Kiva I get the loan paid back with interest and then relend the money to another applicant and pick the people based on profiles. There are even students asking for university loans and pay back when they graduate and find work. One thing is these people value the opportunities financially and they work hard. These trinket sellers are business owners even at 3am. Hey in a deserted village of poor people you never know someone might need a glass ashtray that looks like an octopus.
Back to my stalker,
I basically left for the airport pushing him out of the taxi with his picture in his hand. All while trying to smile at him. I drove away and I swear that image of this 18 year old boy in torn clothes no shoes and not “lucky” to have an education, with osterich picture in hand will forever be in my head as the sum up of my African trip.
After a month I feel lost as a human here and have started to feel like a bank machine to the poor. Then when I don’t give and walk away I feel less and less human and hate myself for not being their bank machine in the small withdrawals they need.
I am f’in exhausted. Seriously. There is no goodness that i feel in me. The times I didn’t give sit harder in my soul than the feeling of joy for the times is did.
I have left Pinny now and I am trying desperately not to cry. I gave have her the funds to secure her chance at university. I have NOT made other promises or guarantees because those become life lines here and all I can say is pole pole as she moves forward. I am so proud of her change in a short time. When I arrived she wanted to be a nurse. Things also happen for a reason because in our short time together we talked about her passions and her dreams and she realized being a nurse was neither for her. It was only the village way and in village standards a need to have her there looking after the sick. Pinny loves French and had the best marks in French. In lamu we met French girls and the joy she had talking French to them was awesome. So maybe she lost a chance at government paid education but with the fees for her entrance, she has a lucky chance at a degree in French. now that she spoke up about dreams she plans to be a French professor. she wants to teach french and run a french drama school and encourage kids to learn and be creative and inspire kids to dream. A fact: in Africa all the French teachers are foreigners. I honestly believe this girl will make a great big life for herself with a French degree. After she gets in the fees will be huge for a three year degree and student loans are a corrupt process, but as I said to her pole pole and just keep me informed one step at a time.
I am so sad to say goodbye and yet I really need to leave this place for my own sanity. I go home to my own son who now has an opportunity of a lifetime. As a child we watched him play soccer and spoke of his professional career and never once doubted his chances. We never even thought of his “luck” my little man leaves for Mexico the day after I get home to peruse a lifetime opportunity to play professional soccer. He has been invited to play for Toluca a pro team in their development team of under 18′s if he makes it through he will be staying in Mexico where they will give him a full scholarship and a professional contract. This is my son who has so much potential and even though I’m sick to lose him to Mexico I know he has his opportunities and dreams to fullfill. And yet here’s Pinny, pole pole.
Omg i am so emotionally sick to my stomach to leave such sadness and despair and not be able to solidify security for her, only to be going home to give my son the world of chance.
There is so much injustice, inequality, poverty, selfishness and unfairness in this world. All the way from children suffering and animal cruelty to survive.
I can chose to get on the plane, shake it off, head to Miami with my friends enjoy luxury for a few days, take my daughter to California as i try to secure clinical midwifery time there for my own degree and chalk africa up to “wow that was an experience” and never look back.
I came here to fullfill a dream of mine to do mission work. Also to figure out if doctors without borders is really what I want to do with my midwifery degree. As all I can say right now, honestly, is pole pole. I am more confused than before. When we set out to find ourselves I think that’s when we actually get lost, because no one is ever really lost we just are unsettled in our world of abundant choices we have in America. You want to see what being lost really feels like take a trip to Africa! Come to kenya and remove yourself from your luxuries and opportunities. Take that getaway you have been wishing for, I am sure its much needed and probably deserved. I promise in one week you will pray to god to put you back home and gladly take your hardship of everyday struggles working to hard and feeling broke. Compared to the african way our American problems we pay therapists to solve are simply bad jokes. Its Gods freakin sick sense of humour being played out on humanity.
So now, I say goodbye to my African friends and Pole pole to my canadian friends I am on my way hoooooooooome!
P.s my Dad used to say love eachother. Wise words and recall he spent time in Africa escaping the German war in his teens. This land is full of Gods forgotten people but it has all of Gods love in some weird f’d up way.
Much love and peace out!
It’s been a few days since posting and finally I haves chance to capture our time here in Lamu.
This is a really lazy island there is not much to do and extremely hot. It’s been interesting meeting people and it seems that the tourists we meet have all done the same as me; separated themselves from mainland Africa before going home. This is kind if like the detox place. More interesting than the Caribbean but less to do.
Pinny and I did some beach time but for the most part we occupied our time discovering local charities. There are a few NGO’s that operate her in lamu. Three big ones are Aniden that runs the posh orphanage, which by the way, the locals are not fond of the money being pumped into one place when the island people are pretty poor. It’s almost like people believe their kids are better off as orphans. Very twisted!
Then there is another orphange that is mainly Muslim and much smaller scale also managed by a Spanish woman. This orphanage was still nice but not anywhere close to anidan. Another organization is Afrikable. This Spanish NGO has 9 volunteers and run a women’s fair trade centre. They employ 30 Muslims women to make clothes and braceletes and other things to ship back to Spain and sell in a small shop here and while the women work they get a free meal and their children get free schooling. We had dinner last night with the onsite manager thats here for 1 year from Spain last night from the organization and I was so moved over this project.
We met another guy from the Netherlands that’s part of Aflatune organization that teaches kids how to value money from a young age. This is an awesome program for young African kids growing up here in poverty.
Honestly, I feel that I have learned so much here as far as building an NGO and how to sustain it. I look forward making a big change when I get home and redirecting my path for life towards bettering the lives of babies, orphans and villages that deserve a chance.
Pinny and I have had some really neat adventures in our time here.
Our original boat boy home dinner we arranged did not pan out. I started to see some loop holes in his plans so we bailed. However he found us eating in a restaurant and sure enough he made a scene. A big scene with tears about how poor he is and how I promised to meet him. Basically I paid him to go away. He went away crying. I felt so bad. It didnt last long he was back 5 minutes later trying to get me to pay him for a boat trip the next day. Nice theatrics.
We did however make it to a home dinner that the owner of our hotel recommended and that was interesting enough. The man picked us up on donkeys to take is to his house. Fed us and left the table. Not the best host.
This little island has about 10 mosques and the main one preaches the Koran 5 times a day and you can hear it over the loud speakers all over the place and there is no hiding from it, not even in your hotel room.
There is alot of animal sadness here. The donkeys are work animals and people use them to carry heavy blocks of cement to build houses. The other day donkey died right in front of us and was just a small guy. He was exhausted and collapsed. It laid there all night and when we went back in the morning it was still there but dead. I was in tears for a while over that one. I have tried telling locals to give their donkeys water and feed them and mostly they laugh at me. Piny thinks I am crazy crying over animals. Never mind the donkeys the cats here are many and also starving. It’s so sad they cry at your feet in restaurants. I have fed more cats in three days then my dogs in one year.
People fish off the Main Street and you see fish bouncing on the ground to their death. And we watched two massive sting rays die by suffocation. I can tell you choosing to be vegetarian by luxury choice is one thing but to be sick to your stomach when you actually see these animals suffer is another.
The island is polluted. But then again all of Africa is polluted. I don’t understand how people can just throw garbage on the floor or out the window. It honestly makes me mad.
Over the last few days Pinny has been upset because she missed a opportunity to get a scholarship to university. It’s been hard working through that one with her. I am glad we came here, I know for sure this trip has helped her see so many things bigger than a simple life. its been amazing to see her reaction to things i take for granted like waves in the ocean, salt water, scuba divers (that she literally screamed when she saw them it was hilarious) the works of charities, among other firsts. Our time together is winding down and it’s getting really hard to think about it. But I also want to go home. I’m very torn.
Africa will hold a great big piece of my heart and already it’s voice is nagging me to come back. There is so much help needed here and it doesn’t take alot to make small changes. Obviously fixing the political system needs to be a start and I am so glad Obama didnt come to Kenya and made a statement about the political unfairness here. But as for the people they deserve hope and life. I just have to process how my life fits into this big place somehow. While here I picked up a book called eat the rich by pj rourke it’s was written in the 90′s but a great account of why some countries are rich and some are poor. His personal experience in Tanzania was word for word how I see Kenya. I also read a classic African novel called things fall apart, a fictitious account of white Christians entering an old primitive village to change the ways of uneducated village people. That novel left me really moved as the white man did not necessarily make things better for the people. There is a line between our American luxuries and the way people survive here. Finding how to toggle that line so that our ways are not meant to change the people but to make better what they already have is the answer. Now that im leaving In a few days, I wonder, have I made things better or have I left them worse off since they cant access the things I gave without my help long term. I guess that’s how the seed gets planted to have to return
Our bus ride to lamu was a nightmare. Honestly, couldn’t be worse than a Chinese torture chamber. Out ride from eldoret to Mombasa was 13 hours and the whole time the driver played this awful Swahili slash Indian sounding shrieking music, kind of like the bad Sunday indian channels on TV.
Then if that couldn’t be bad enough we take an Arabic line is called tawakal from Mombasa to lamu which was about 7 hours and the entertainment was worse. Pinny and I get on the bus and I see a massive tv and and a wifi sign. I thought we hit the travel lottery. NOT! I even say omg they will play movies she was like “wow” ya right we got tortured again. It’s Ramadan and an Arabic bus line, you can imagine what we went through. We weren’t allowed to eat and we had to listen to a man preach the Koran on the big screen in Arabic Swahili at absolute full blast for 7 hours and to boot Pinny and I had the speaker over our heads. She got brave and asked the driver to turn it down please and sure enough he turned it up, I couldn’t even imagine there were decibels left to turn to.
On top of that I spent 7 hours convincing myself of a terrorist attack on the bus from everything is heard about lamu. I was seriously eyeing one man the entire time as I was sure he had a plan. at one point he left hia seat and i swear i searched his bag. iwas sweating my a$$ off in fear of getting caught but I couldn’t take it anymore, I was going crazy and the Koran preaching (yelling) was not helping. And plus he had a gasoline tank with him. No joke. Lamu is about an hour away from the Somali border.
We did arrive safe and I did apologize to the man, not directly but in my head.
Lamu is indescribable. I have never in my life seen anything remotely like this. I can’t even believe this is still Kenya. I won’t say it’s beautiful but it is unique, old, laid back, and untouched. It is populated by Muslims. It’s Ramadan so most things are closed during the day. The mosques Blair out the koran and do prayer calls. It’s a small island we had to take a ferry to. There are no cars, no motorbikes and no buses. People walk by donkey or they take dhows (boats) around. The place is clustered with cement buildings and to walk through the town it’s tiny alley ways they call streets. You can’t even put your elbows out there is no rooms and if people walk by you have to basically go up against the wall to pass. There are two Main Street a little wider and the perimeter around the island you can walk part on the walkway, part in the water.
Pinny and I had made it to our hotel which is more likes backpackers hostel but the amenities are great. I was happy to have a towel!
The owner is German and we had dinner with him at a local place.
Today we went to Aiden children’s home. It’s a orphanage that has 240 kids on the island. Compared to matunda this place is a freaking palace. They have everything even computers. They have classrooms, a library, a cemented basketball court and a beautiful little paediatric hospital with machines. I couldn’t help but be so choked up to see Pinny’s face as she walked through it knowing how her orphans survive in matunda. And how badly her parents struggle to give the kids a cup of beans. The kids in matunda don’t even have books to write in. I was sick to my stomach. But here’s the deal this place was started by a young guy forms Spain hat basically backpacked over here spent time with orphans and then used his own money as much as he could to help and when he couldn’t afford it just started asking for donations. Over time he was able to build a huge charity called anidan Spain and now he funds the orphange completely though that charity and donations. I can’t beleive what he has done on his own. I am speechless and completely inspired. The paediatric centre even has volunteer doctors from Spain. There were 4 there I spoke with. He brings them in for about 4 months at a time.
I can’t tell you what I felt but at a moment I realized this is why I am in lamu. I have no clue why I chose to come here so far from matunda. Why so close to the Somali border and where lamu even came to my head over Zanzibar. I honestly in my heart believe God wanted me to see how an orphange can be when someone really dedicates there life to it.
I realize that in the short time through my blogs and my stay in matunda he donations I received considerably made life better. But no where even remotely close to what Rafael has done for the orphange in lamu. Why can’t I do this for matunda? Why I can’t I make small changes in the world for other places. And this is where my own life has come to actualization. I can. Pinny too, has opened her eyes and listening to her talk about school and how to raise money opening a business has been great. We have many ideas to consider over three days which I won’t share right now as parental disclosure is needed lol. But for her big changes are not the horizon and I am dedicated forever to help her succeed. If I can help her, she will help her village.
But for me I believe my destiny is to begin an NGO and help matunda become like anidan her in lamu. To get sponsors monthly to pay teaches and get school supplies. I also believe though my midwifery degree I will be able to help the hospitals better their systems. I want to be able to “Rebirth the World” one village at a time. That’s my NGO tag line. Maybe this is a dream phase but I really don’t think so. Lamu has been the home run hit and I can’t really explain how coming here even got on my itinerary none the less with Pinny by my side. Stay posted as this little place will help with big decisions. We have scheduled a meeting with the director of anidan children’s home tomorrow to listen how Rafael made all this possible.
Tonight we are having a Ramadan dinner at a boat boys home with his family.
Pinny has had a full day of riding boats, drinking fresh fruit juice, trying to swim in the ocean which she failed miserably at, tasting ocean water for the first time, climbing sand dunes that are the biggest i have ever seen in my life and mostly having her head explode with ideas for her own life.
Enjoy lamu pictures and Pinny’s video which I had to take cause she has been loving the frag squeezed juices here and started talking about needing a blender to make juices in matunda. It was so awesome I had her make a video. Now my next goal is to get his girl a juicer if she actually goes back to matunda soon (that’s another story)
Giving is not glory not is it instant gratification. Giving is something that makes the world a better place. We can spend time thinking about all the corruption and deceit to many organizations and use that as an excuse to not give. But I promise you that when you give with love and give selflessly to those that do not take with greed but with honest need there is no greater emotion that fulfills the soul. Over the last few weeks I have been put in the middle of poverty and disease. Africa is the poorest country in world and I came here under an illusion or some fantasy. As soon as I for off the plane that fantasy smacked me so hard I had to get a grip.
As things started to unfold through my blog not only did I get an opportunity to expand my soul here but I watched in amazement as my friends and family sent donation after donation and gave so selflessly from oceans away. I can say thank you but those words are so empty and baron. You will never truly understand how much you have helped. NEVER. Nothing I did here was cause of me. I was just the body. The facilitator. You all at home changed a village. You Rebirthed 175 children. You have hope and love and believe it or not have these kids the power to dream. What we all did together was SHOW gods survivors here that life is worth it. Regardless of what it takes life has many good moments that have the power to erase thousands of bad days. I will cherish the faces, the laughter, the smiles so big and eyes so bright from many of the kids, Pamela and Francis, grandma dancing over her chickens, the cook dancing a jive a real honest happy dance that wasnt over a lottery but a simple walmart skirt i brought from home. And the many women that did a dance over being given a due date for their pregnancy and a birth kit.
These are the joys In giving that I believe have made two world come together: theirs and ours.
I am not courages or brave, all I did what take the step to fulfil one of my own personal dreams. Man I gotta review my bucket list cause I sure can x here up some crazy ideas. However as much as this one was way more than I could bargain for I don’t regret a moment. My soul has expanded, my heart has grown and I think I have learned love in a way god intended. I thank everyone for making this possible for me and for matunda Kenya. I will miss Machuma and would love to find a way to bring that child home to join my family. I am leaving matunda but this has only given me a purpose and a drive to forever make things better here from home.
Pinny and I have started our two day journey to lamu and for the next leg of my African experience to begin but this time through a young 15 year old African child who has the world ahead of her.
Enjoy the pictures and videos of our ceremony today.
With the help of my friends and family in Canada we put 175 orphaned kids in uniform and shoes in Continue reading
Giving to the world is our duty. Taking care if Gods people on earth is Ana amazing grace. Giovanna orphanage Continue reading